Words

They beat against the restraining barriers that keep them encaged in their world of shelter. In their frenzied movements, they bump into each other, jostling all those in their vicinity. It is crowded--suffocatingly so--and they yearn to break through the wall and finally come upon the wonder that we fondly call "the world."

I give them the opportunity to escape from the confines of my mind as I rest the tip of my pen against a clean sheet of paper, which in half an hour's time will be blackened with ink.

The Ocean

I went to the ocean yesterday.

I love how the waves lightly kiss the shore, the seagulls swoop and dive above us, the sound of the ocean's roar as it pounds the surf, and, from far away underneath the dim horizon, how the sun (even though it was much too cloudy to see the sun yesterday) seems to touch the water and sink below the ocean's waves at sunset. I love the whole atmosphere at the sea, the smell, the feel, the sights and sounds...It's all slightly overwhelming to someone who once felt the whole world rested on her shoulders.

It's humbling to witness a great spectacle, to gather sand dollars and sea shells and feel like you're a part of something great... Or at least watching it unfold before your eyes. Whenever I go to the ocean I always become a little wistful, a little romantic, knowing that right beyond this barrier of powerful waters lies another world and country where everyone around you speaks a different language and lives completely different from the world you know. I always feel an irrational urge to dive headfirst into the waves and feel myself drift away towards something better (or worse), to give my fate to someone who knows what to do with it and watch the world transform.

If only we could float, and not drown. I think that's the whole point, though, in drowning instead of floating. It's that quick decision you make right before you do something potentially dangerous and life-threatening. I love free will. And I hate it. If only God could just tell us what He wants us to do without all these doubts surfacing and creating havoc on a mind already stressed and depressed. If only it were that easy.

The truth is, we won't be able to swim to that other country just by letting ourselves float along the ocean current. We'll end up sinking to the bottom of the ocean without those few kicks and arm movements to get us going on our way. The current can only do so much; we do the rest.

So, using that logic and newfound wisdom, I think I'll start kicking through the waves trying to pull me down to the ocean floor. I'll try...but I'll need some help. From God, from other people...and from myself. I hope I won't disappoint. And, most importantly, I hope I'll get some assistance.

I don't think I need to spell it out for you to understand.

Sun Showers

Clouds roll away to a yellow and blue

As the mist invigorates my senses

The crystal drops patter silently through

The fog as the whole world awakens

Sun showers are the rarest of their kind

Hiding in places where darkness resides

When the cloudy day finally passes

With the fires of your passion crumbling to ashes

Hope falls from the sky in drops of rain

I taste the faith and the promise of the day

Open sky golden with God's grand display

I realize sun showers are like hope, in its own way

Rain and sun are like fire and ice

Good and evil, naughty and nice

So different and yet so equally beautiful

Coming together for a brief nature lull

I would lie here forever in the pouring rain

If it meant the sun would come again

If it meant, for just a moment longer

I could feel some piece of Heaven in this sun shower

So lie down next to me as I enjoy the rain

Feel alive for once as you drink in the pain

Bittersweet life so much like the weather

Cold, unpredictable, but the beauty makes it better

So catch some fallen raindrops in your eager hands

Watch the golden sky open over your native land

I tilt my head back and welcome the shower

Face it, eyes open, my life

A sun shower